National 'Clear Yourself' Day Announced!
New webzine: "CIA Tactic Starts Hot New Wired Trend!"
NEWPORT BEACH, CA ---- The 'DrugMoney Times' came to electronic life as a new magazine about the powerful DrugMoney industry this weekend, but don't ask editorial staffers to fix any possible flaws in their new product: the publication has announced that it is officially Clearing Itself in advance of any potential wrongdoing.
"It's all because of National Clear Yourself Day this Saturday December 27," stated one senior editor. "We're proud to be playing even a small role in the tremendous groundswell of public support everyone feels for the CIA's courage in clearing itself of allegations of drug trafficking. Clearing yourself has now become the hip thing to do. Someday, the editor asserted, clearing yourself might even be seen as an inalienable human right. "But only," he hastened to add, "after a thorough internal investigation."
In the clubby online publishing community rumors swirled about the bold move, said to come at a particularly sensitive time for the fledgling concern. "They've been secretly polishing an investigative bombshell," dished the publisher of a competing magazine. "We hear they're getting ready to accuse thirteen current United States Senators of being on the payroll of the Cali Cartel."
A source at the DrugMoney Times cheerily confirmed the report and offered, "Without the CIA's courageous example in clearing itself we might still be going through the laborious process of fact-checking this story in every detail. Now we've found a better way."
Highlights from the debut issue include what Gary Webb's resignation says about the possibility of a free press; new info on assassinated CIA agent Barry Seal's secret relationship with former Vice President Bush; a sidelong look at America's Queen City of Black Ops, Mena Arkansas, and a contest to pick the best reader-submitted entries on the subject of "Things We Should All Get Clear About."
"Covering the power and influence of DrugMoney in American narco-democratic life today takes brass balls and a solid stomach," concluded the editor. "Thank God we're coming out at such a particularly auspicious time in the field of American investigative journalism. There hardly isn't any."
The new DrugMoney Times http://www.madcowprod.com
"Clear Yourself. Before Its Too Late."
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